Before and After

recently i came across a facebook post of a friend of a friend in which a before and after shot was featured of a woman. the post proclaimed amazement at the hard work of this beautiful woman to loose nearly 30 lbs. of baby wieght. she looked great.  i think it is awesome when women are able to achieve an "unattainable" goal.  and i certainly applaud the efforts of this woman to regain her former figure after the grueling nine months of growing a HUMAN BEING inside of her body, then within a few hours of excruciating and indescribable hard work, (this pain being the equivalent of ALL pain felt in the preceding 9 months) experiencing the inevitable life changing experience of keeping this new, beautiful, incredible, person alive. kudos to the "after!"
but it did get me thinking.  i once heard a guy say on the radio that every woman's body was ruined after child birth.  i was glad that my life experience enabled me to immediately deem him and idiot.  but that statement is so indicative of our society and how women are viewed and valued.  you can't go anywhere without hearing about how this famous person or that famous person can now where a bikini a mere 30 days after giving birth!  holy pressure batman.  it took me 30 days to be able to fix my hair again after baby.  i think it may have been 60 days until i could actually attempt excersise, and it's been 13 years now since i had an uninterrupted thought.
  i think of how i was before i had kids.  not just that  i was thinner, or that my stomach was free of purple stretch marks and pooches, but how i WAS.
 i was carefree.   i was ambitious, and flaky, and irresponsible, and a little selfish.  life was about me and what i wanted and my dreams and my dislikes etc. etc. etc.   somehow, thirteen years of little people have changed me. and it's been a refiners fire let me tell you.  a person cannot be the mother of four children and all that comes with that, live 3000 miles from family, move 8 times, spend 6 months with a husband on deployment, and not be different.  but  maggie is a much better person after children then she was on her own before children if i do say so myself.   and isn't that what life is all about.  learning and growing and changing.  we are so afraid of becoming older, of looking older.  but you know what: life is hard, you cannot escape it with perfect skin, toned muscles, & full flowing hair with just the right amount of highlights. we will all become  gray, wrinkled, saggy, beautiful creatures. people with wisdom and life experience and wonderful stories to tell.
the other day i heard avery and jace playing and singing a song.  they didn't know i was there. i was the only patron at their impromptu concert. how totally awesome is that? and  it is so worth it. the world will look at me and say i've lost my youth, i need to do a few situps and lay off the chocolate pie, but i think that i am grateful for my before and the choices i made to get me to the after that i never new i've always wanted.
so i don't want to say to the before and after girl on facebook anything about her awesome weight loss. i just want to say, hey thanks!  thankyou for sacrificing a little part of your life to make way for a new one. thanks for the sleepless nights and the stressful days. thanks for cleaning up the puke and the pee and the poop. thanks for letting go of the before so gracefully. the after looks good on you.