Thursday, July 31, 2008

Burning Question of the Week #6

Let's push the rewind button for a bit.......zooming back over spring hikes, Grandma and Grandpa's may visit, yucky april snowstorm, valentines, christmas, thanksgiving(yum),.....etcetra etcetra.....long road trip, three weeks of packing, kids in utah.....ahhh here we are.... laboring with Jace. June 2007. We'll start there. So I'm on the edge of the devil hospital bed (what the h*%$#? why would a bed be so excrutiating?) in deep painful, mind numbing labor waiting for my best friend, my hero, the only person I want to see at this point, yep Mr. Anesthesiologist. He finally arrives to slay the horrible dragon of my pain with his hideously long needles and bottles of iodine.
Dear, dear, wonderful man. He is short, bald, hairy knuckles....let's just hope those knuckles have some serious experience here. Which, as the polite conversation soon reveals, is exactly the case. It seems Mr. Anesthesiologist has just returned from Afghanistan, (this is an Army hospital experience mind you, ps thus the swearing) and has been doing this sort of thing long enough to put my jumpy heart at ease.
So as the good Dr. is poking around my back he keeps making funny questioning noises. You know like "hmmmmm" or "interesting" which I'll admit I'm kind of ignoring and thinking "let's get this show on the road eh!" and then finally he says, " Do you work out alot?"
Which is the last thing I expected to hear as an extremely chubby pregnant woman. Mike snickers under his breath. Then remembers where we are and whose fault that is and apologetically strokes my arm. So I say, "umm I walked alot in my pregnancy.... I lifted 5 lb hand weights a couple times." I left out the embarassing pregnancy salsa video I bought on Amazon, no one with 8 lbs of fat and baby up front should be doing the salsa.
And he says, " I mean do you lift heavy things alot?" Well my babies are always fat, I'm not wussy in the moving stuff around department, I can even hold like 10 sacks of groceries in one hand if it's really cold outside.
"It's just that your back is so strong," says hairy knuckles, "You have the back of an Afghani man!" He smiles.


I cringe. "uhh... thank-you?"

Which leads me to the burning question of the week. What is the weirdest compliment you've ever received? And the person who can top that, is gonna get a good prize, and no it won't be my afghani "how to get a muscular back video."

27 comments:

Kritta22 said...

I was in the NICU with Connor...just being born that day, I waddled down to the unit. (I got to stay in the hospital just not in the NICU...Chris, BTW, is sleeping back in that bed of MINE!) I was called by the nurse there, saying Connor was awake and was probably hungry.
So I oh-so-carefully sit on the chair and try to start nursing the little guy. We were having a little issue but we were doing alright for being the 3rd time ever to nurse. Well the nurse comes over to see how things were and if I needed anything.
I asked if I was doing it right.
She said yes you are. Nice job. And by the way, what great nipples you have.
Yup so if you care it know, I have great nipples. You aren't ever gonna see them but there you are. My most memorable compliment ever.

Scott & Haley said...

I don't know if you characterize this as a compliment, but you can decide that.
When I was a Jr. in high school I had some problem with my hip during x-c season. It got so bad that I had an MRI taken and then at to go to and orthopedic office and get an x-ray. The doctor came back and said and I quote. "I have good news and bad news, bad news is that you have a hairline factor in our hip, good news you will be able to have big babies,(shows me the x-ray of my hip) you have a nice big pelvic girdle."
That is just what a 16 year old wants to hear.

Jessie said...

Okay Maggie, I seriously can't think of anything in my life right now because even though I've heard the story, that rendition was priceless. I think I might save this for days when I feel ultra down because this made me laugh until I snorted, cried and had to take a bathroom break. Maybe I'll come back later with a wierd compliment of my own, for now I can't think because the level of hilarity is too high!

Brian and Martha said...

That is a really funny story. If I think of a better one, I'll share, but that will be hard. But, at least you were lucky enough to get an epidural.

Seth said...

oh maggie...that is hilarious. my compliment has been received more than once, "you look just like your uncle bill, but a girl." i love bill but can't they just say "you are just as smart as your uncle bill" because i am not into looks, obviously.

Seth said...

this is angie.

Strupp Family said...

Will you write a book already? I know it will be a best seller. You're just so funny! I also laughed harder than I have in a long time. In fact, so hard and loud I woke Ashley up. Anyway, I also will have to think on the weird compliments. I'm sure I've had some, but nothing to compair with that story...and the way you tell it...I'll get back to you on this one.

Ben and Sarah said...

Dad once told me that i had women hands. We cant all have sausage fingers

Emilee said...

I have nothing that comes close. And it's making me giggle to even think about it.
Oh, there was that one time in high school (you were with me, I think), when the substitute biology teacher asked me if I had been born in the United States. When I said yes, he looked surprised, and then said, "I thought you probably hadn't been because you had a classic accent." But that's not so much a compliment as a coverup. Classic accent? So I don't even speak my native language like it's my native language? Scary!

Aundrea said...

That is so funny! I'm like some of the rest...gonna have to think on this. I probably repressed that memory somewhere deep in my brain and will have to dig around to find it.

Adri said...

That story is making me laugh so hard, my kids are wondering what is wrong with me. I can't think of anything to top it! :)

Monster Mary said...

I think Kritta should win cause that's a rather strange compliment. I dated a guy for a very brief time who told me that I reminded him of an hungarian soccer player. I didn't really know what about me reminded him of that but didn't show much more interest in him after that.

I dated this guy in college who had Large feet. I have large hands and so my friends would call him "Feets" and me "Flipper" It was actually very funny because this particular friend said it in his New Zealand accent that just made me crack up.

While working in High school at Bojangles (cajun fried chicken) My friend and I always got a little peppy when these two guys would come in. THey worked at the airport and were a little flirty with us. One day he leans over to me and says "Oh baby , I like those child bearing hips" Oh wait. . . excuse me. . . did you just say you LIKED my child bearing hips. They weren't nearly as cool after that but I've come to love my child bearing hips and sometimes even wish they were the size they were back then.

Was that too much? Sorry, once I get going sometimes I just can't stop. My husband calls them pointless stories. :) He loves them, sometimes, and sometimes not. I think he pretends. Okay I'll stop now.

tris said...

I'm thinking...oh and Ben, I resent that.

Strupp Family said...

Ok, so I thought of one. It has two compliments actually--these are still not as good as yours:

When in the dental hygiene program, we always practiced our instruments on each other. Well, I became quite popular as a patient because someone announced to the class that I have really stretchy cheeks :)

Then we started practicing injections on each other. The very first time we practiced on each other my instructor called everyone over to show me to the class because apparently I have "great landmarks". See, for any of you not practiced in the art of local anesthesia--there are certain areas in the mouth you look for and use those "landmarks" to aim for the nerve sight. Some are more pronounced than others. I became quite the guinea pig after that with my stretchy cheeks and defined landmarks. It was fine, though. I really don't mind injections.

LauschHouse said...

Okay Maggie, you are hilarious and I agree with one of the other posts that you should write a book!! I saw your post on my blog and Devry totally misses Avery too. On the way home from church last week she kept asking if she could go to Avery's house. It was so sad to tell her no cause you live to far away. Tell Mike to stay in the Army and we can following eachother from base to base!

Jamie said...

You are just so awesome! Anytime I need a pick me up, I come to your blog. You are absolutely hilarious and write in the most entertaining way.

so i'll have to stew over this question, but a couple off the top of my head since we are talking labor...I've been complimented on have the most beautiful "pushing" face, when I was in labor with #2, the nurse was strangely gitty about what a "cute little package" I was, and lastly, at my first pre-wedding dr. visit, i was told i have beautiful breasts and that my husband would really enjoy them! yikes! I hope no one I know reads this!

I'm really hoping one of those wins me the prize that i'm hoping is the prego salsa video! hilarious!

CHERI said...

You Boyle girls have a great sense of humor! Thanks for the good laugh!

Kritta22 said...

So who win? I love them all!!

Check out this site:

weareallenlisted.blogspot.com/

Kinda fun if we get people on here!

Travis and Jamie Shepherd said...

I got one in high school, that turned out to be not such a compliment after all. I was sitting in French class (yes, I took two years of French, and NO I can't speak any of it.) And these older girls turned around. One told me that she liked my curly hair and asked the other if she also thought I looked like this really pretty cheerleader in my grade. The other girl looked at me for a second, wrinkled her nose and said, "So her hair is curly too. Kelly is beautiful and has great skin." OUCH. I didn't know that I had BAD skin. The other girl just looked at me for a sec and then turned back around.
Whenever I have a zit that one races to mind.

Then my senior year of high school I started working for an orthodontic office, and we ate treats from patients all the time. Needless to say, I gained a pound or two. I was babysitting for this little hispanic lady down the street one day and she asked me if I played sports. I said that I liked to play volley ball with friends, wondering where the conversation was headed. She said, "No, like football. You have such big broad shoulders. You would be good at football." Exactly why I have spent my whole life ripping shoulder pads out of dresses and shirts. I DO NOT want to look like I would be a great line backer.
Ok, so I pretty much wrote you a whole blogging post myself.

Deanna said...

LOL! Maggie, you just may have to give the prize to yourself! I was laughing so hard not just at the punchline, but the way you told the story!! :o) I'll have to think about one for myself, but I'm not sure I can beat yours. :o)

Elliott Family said...

My weirdest compliment which a lot of you would probably realize if you know me caused some inner reflection of my outward appearance. While life gaurding during summer break this older man life gaurd told me that I was really fit. He then asked if I was an Italian Gymnast. I thought that was so weird. So not only do I look Italian(dark hair, strong features, but I short and stalky like a (overweight) gymnast) Lets face it most gymnasts that aren't training for the olympics are short and stalky. Anyway I think that forever changed my technique with lifting weights :)

Mags said...

Wow there are some wierdos out there! just some thoughts:

Kritta- Crazy how someone can just throw that in to a coversation.....by the way...

Haley- I always new you would have 8 children

Angie- you are the smart, chic, supermom, witty writing, Kate hudson+bill boyle version of uncle bill.

Ben-I'm pretty sure dad was trying to insult you. Also me and tris have sausage fingers so back off! jk

emilee- who was the teacher? and an accent in monticello? only if your from much farther south and can say ya'te hey.

Mary- child bearing hips were a sign to cave men that you were a hottie, maybe that guy worked for Geico?

Kim- I covet your landmarks.

Jamie- I wonder if that gyno is still practicing, or if someone eventually accused him of harrassment. I've also always thought you were a cute little pkg.

Jamie S. I actually aspired to be a linebacker once, but I agree lets all have a shoulder pad burning party.

Kristin- poor old guy, poor choice of words.

And the WINNER is........KIM!! Anyone who would tell you that the inside of your mouth is a great asset should work a little harder on their complimenting. I will be sending you a very nice gift of fabric covered thumb tacks (much cooler than it sounds.)

Mags said...

Also to:
Jessie, Martha, Aundrea, Cheri, Shannon, and anyone else who mentioned their laughing, thank-you for the praise, it keeps me writing to know it keeps people laughing!

Mags said...

And deana and adri too!

Mags said...

do you notice how I keep posting comments so it looks like I have more than I actually do? I told you I was vain.

Melinda said...

I have scoliosis and when I was 12-14ish I saw a back specialist every 6 months to a year to see if the scoliosis was going to get any worse during my growth spurt and need intervention (a dreaded brace). I hated these appointments because I was always worried he'd say it was time for the brace. My doctor was looking for that growth spurt and puberty to come along. At one appointment, I think around 14 years old, he examined my bare chest and said "hmmm...those are coming along nicely". Even now at age 34, I cringe as I type those words. I would rather have been bent over like Quasimodo than have a grown man look at me and say that! Blechh...

Shannon said...

Mags,
I know this post is already long overdone, but I just read it tonight. Might I say that I truly love to read your blog. It is always good for a laugh. You bring real life into...well, life!
Anesthesia people are some of the most skilled professionals when it comes to odd compliments. Just between you and me, it is part of our training. My favorite odd compliment ever given was during the preop interview. I spend some time evaluating peoples airway to determine the difficulty of placing a breathing tube. On one of these assessments the individual asked me why I was looking so carefully at their open mouth and if everything was okay. I explained the reasoning and then followed with, "everything looks just fine, you have a really big mouth." The look on their face was well worth the 9 years of training! That's right, when it comes to odd compliments we anesthesia folk got some skillz!
Best wishes to you Mags. Cute family!
Brad

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